Hello, gun rights advocates!

Let me just be clear that I’m specifically addressing those of you that refuse to accept any sort of restrictions or common sense gun reform. Not all gun owners are bad. There are just a bunch of you out there making everyone else look psychotic.

I have already come to terms with the fact that you and I will never agree on gun rights or how they should be regulated in this country. I’ve exhausted myself far too much trying to get through to people and flip a switch of some kind for a reality check that might stop the madness. That’s not what this is about.

All I want to implore of you at this point is that you please be honest with yourselves and with the rest of us. Just admit it. Say it out loud.

Your gun rights are more important to you than other people’s lives.

Doesn’t honesty feel great? I understand that a little bit of selfishness is human nature. You probably don’t personally know any of the victims of mass shootings, and you think you’d be able to use your gun to defend yourself in the event that one occurred. But forget everyone else, right?

So really, you can drop the pretenses. You know your arguments are just there as a front for your real intentions, because they fall apart with any analysis.

You really can’t try to tell me that you oppose gun control because you think that arming civilians will prevent mass shootings. Surely you don’t expect elementary school students like those at Sandy Hook to be carrying guns. And I doubt you think it would be realistic for a crowd of nightclub goers to be packing heat while they dance to Rihanna. Or that patrons in a dark movie theater will be able to see and stop a shooter before he opens fire.

Admit that your gun rights are more important to you than preventing even one mass shooting.

And we both know that arming guards often won’t work either. You’re not that naive. There was an armed officer–someone actually trained to shoot a gun–present at Pulse nightclub, and the gunman still managed to kill 49 people. The element of surprise will always give the shooter an advantage.

This isn’t an action movie. You aren’t Liam Neeson. And the video below didn’t go viral enough, but it completely shuts down the “good guy with a gun” theory. You’re not even fooling yourself with that argument anymore, so maybe it’s time to be honest about it.

And you are absolutely right about the fact that people could still get guns illegally despite gun control measures. But you have to be realistic enough to know that the average person is going to have a great deal of difficulty obtaining weapons on the street. I haven’t met my local gun fencer yet, but I’m sure I’d find him super approachable, as would any mentally ill kid from the suburbs.

You really cannot tell me with any seriousness that making it more difficult to obtain assault weapons would stop nobody. There is no way a logical person could possibly believe that. Common sense would dictate that it would not be feasible for many people — particularly the less resourceful — to obtain a gun illegally. Could you? I wouldn’t know where to begin. Legally getting a gun, though? Different story.

Let’s consider a kid in Connecticut that wants to shoot up a school. Do you see him talking to arms dealers in a dark alley downtown? Or would it be more likely to see him taking an assault rifle that one of his parents already legally owns? (If this scenario sounds familiar, it’s because it happened in Newtown.) Not all gun owners are responsible people. I know you can’t think it’s fair for the rest of us to pay the consequences.

Yet even though it might potentially stop a tragedy, you oppose gun legislation because some people could still get guns illegally. And that has worked out so well so far. Listen, nobody thinks gun control will stop all shootings, but I refuse to believe anyone could think it wouldn’t stop any shootings.

Nobody thinks gun control will stop all shootings, but I refuse to believe anyone could think it wouldn’t stop any shootings.

You can’t be blind to what has happened in Australia, where gun control has been extremely successful, or the numerous U.S. states where gun control correlates with fewer gun deaths. You can’t ignore the fact that exactly zero of the top 10 deadliest U.S. shootings occurred during the Federal Assault Weapons Ban (1994-2004). If you’re being honest with yourself, you can’t tell me that you really think that some level of gun control is unlikely to help.

Oh, and please don’t allow me to forget to touch on one of your favorite arguments, the one that suggests we might as well outlaw all things that could possibly be utilized as weapons. Am I forgetting about the time someone single-handedly murdered dozens of people in minutes with a baseball bat? A sword? A chainsaw?

Yes, a bomb could do considerable damage. That’s why we don’t sell bombs at department stores. I mean, really, I know there’s no way you think those arguments are substantive. It must be so exhausting to constantly rehash talking points trickled down from the NRA.

So again, please just own up to how you really feel. Admit that your gun rights are more important to you than preventing even one mass shooting. That your fears of oppression from gun control outweigh any prospect that it might change things for the better. That you don’t even think it’s worth a try, despite evidence to the contrary.

Go ahead. I’m sure it will be cathartic. Just stop trying to fool yourself and others with the fallacious arguments, and then we can all get back to praying it all away. I have a feeling it will work this time!